Thought and Hi Rachel

Rachel: Good evening Tom. It's nice to meet you. Please call me Rachel. Tom: Hi Rachel†¦ It is good to meet you too. Rachel: To start off why don't you tell me a little bit about why you think you are here today and what has been going on for you in your life. Tom: I think I am here because my friend thinks I am a drunk. Maybe I am, but I have a good reason. Rachel: What is your reason? Tom: Because my wife left me. We were married for 25 years, and she cheated. Rachel: I am very sorry to hear that Tom. I can understand how that would be hard to deal with. Tom: it is horrible!When I am up, I am thinking of her, thinking of her with someone else, and then drinking to make it go away. I am alone! Rachel: So would you say your drinking has increased since this relationship ended? Tom: ummm†¦. I guess it has†¦ probably more than a little. I mean the guys and I always had a few on sunday for football, you know. But sometimes I drink and I don't know why? Rachel: Would you s ay your alcohol use has affected your job at all, or other family or social commitments? Tom: Well I know I am sick and tired of being hungover in the morning and operating the crane.My family was my wife†¦. we ran from family and our love was all we had. It made us strong†¦ but not strong enough apparently. Rachel: Well we definately need to find you some better ways to cope with this. How would you describe your mood and how you have been feeling since this has happened? Tom: My mood has been getting worse. It's like the worst has happened but I have this nagging feeling that something unbelievably horrible will follow it. My body also has these pains and aches and I have no idea where they came from†¦Rachel: Well it is definately normal to feel this way after such a stressful occurence in your life. Although it is hard to remain postive, it is important. Do you have any other support in your life besides your wife? Anyone that you could talk to? Tom: Well Jim. He i s the one who said I needed to see a counsellor. He said I looked dissheveled. I trust him but I feeling like I am letting him down. Rachel: Well that is good that you took Jim's advice to come in and talk to someone. It can be very difficult to deal with something like this on your own.It is good to have social support in your life and someone who can be honest with you. Do you see yourself getting into a new relationship in the future? Tom: I can see that maybe I can move on but I am hurting. I have been too drunk to grieve! Rachel: Why do you think your wife cheated on you? Do you blame this on yourself? Tom: I never could give her brains and a body. I didn't have brains and my body is getting too old. She took off to the carribean with this lawyer. I wasn't good enough. Rachel: Im sure there are plenty of great things about yourself. This is not something you should blame on yourself.I think once you put yourself out there you will see that many people will find you attractive i nside and out. Challenging your negative thoughts in ways such as this is the first step to feeling better. You will prove your own negative thoughts wrong and will begin to build a new more positive self-concept. I know right now it may be too early to start dating but you should focus on other things you are good at or that you once enjoyed. Rachel: I wanted to ask you a little about your family history. Is there anyone in your family that has suffered from depression or alcohol abuse? Tom: My father drank alot.He was an angry drunk. His mother was sad alot of the time. She killed herself when my dad was 11 Rachel: Im sorry to hear about that Tom. I want to make sure you know that it is normal to feel the way you do right now. I would however suggest talking to your family doctor about taking an antidepressant to help you get back on your feet. It is not something you have to take forever but it can really help to get your life back in perspective. Unfortunately we are out of time for today but I would really like to continue talking to you about this another time. Tom: ok, thank you Rachel